Sunday, November 30, 2008

My Heart Hurts

Brent and I have gotten in a massive fight. I don't know what to do with myself. He doesn't return my phone calls, he won't return my texts, he didn't say anything to me about what was going to happen. If I could go back to the fight, I would take it all back. I would tell him he was right, and he was perfect, and that he was amazing. Has anyone invented a time machine yet?

My parents know that I'm pregnant now though. They heard Brent and I yelling about it. They won't even look at me. They avoid me like the plague, like if they go near me, they'll catch a disease. It doesn't surprise me, I was expecting the rejection. What does surprise me, is how much the rejection hurts.

They're supposed to be my parents. They're supposed to love me unconditionally, but here they are, avoiding me like I'm a disease. I feel so ashamed of myself. I should have known better than to think that my life could actualy get better. I didn't deserve Brent. I don't deserve this baby. I don't deserve anything right now.

2 comments:

Adi said...

Awww Ellie, It'll turn around. It just looks and feels really bad right now. I'm sure Brent is just cooling off. It's not just you he'd be losing. He'd be losing Hunter and sweet tooth too! I don't think he's the kind of guy that would give that up. Give him a chance to cool off and I know he'll come back to you with plenty of apologies

Amy Ham said...

Ellie! You are an amazing girl and an amazing momma! You DO deserve Brent (and if he is willing to walk away from you and Hunter and Baby Sweet Tooth, then I'm not entirely certain that he deserves YOU!). You definitely deserve this baby! I'm so sorry that your parents are reacting the way they are. I do think that they will come around soon! And I agree with Adi, I don't think that Brent is they type of guy to just walk away, I think that he will cool off and be back soon.