The First Post

Today is my 20th birthday. I don't feel any different than I did yesterday, and I'm sure I'll still feel the same tomorrow. Nothing has changed since yesterday. I still have a son, Hunter, my world. I'm still dating my best friend, Brent. I am still pregnant with my second baby. The only thing that has changed, is the number that represtents how long ago I was born.

People frowned upon me when I would tell them that I was 19 years old, and I had a son. Will that change now that I'm 20? Will people stop looking at me like I'm a blight on society now that I'm "old enough" to have children? No, they won't. People are predictable. Most people know how to count, and they will know soon enough that I was a teen mother. I am a teen mother.

My second is due this coming July, and I couldn't be more scared. I know it's going to be hard, but that doesn't mean that, just because I'm young, that I can't do it. There are plenty of older mothers who are worse parents than myself, so who are they to judge? I may not be in the greatest of situations, unmarried, young, and yes, still living with my parents, but I will love this child and give it everything it needs and deserves in life, and so much more than that.

I'm getting sick all the time, and I'm surprised my parents haven't confronted my about it. Maybe they're trying to avoid the fact that their youngest daughter, is pregnant yet again. I dissappointed them when I got pregnant with Hunter. I was supposed to be the good child, the one who always knew when to say know, and when to stop. I was supposed to make something of myself. What they don't realize right now, is that I'm making myself the best person I can be, a mother.

I've never blogged before. I never felt like I needed to say anything. What surprises me is that I do. I have tons of things to say, but I can't put any of them into words. I can't express them through a keyboard, or even in words. It's something you need to experiance yourself, something you need to live through.